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Food jokes 

موضوع: دوشنبه 31 فروردین1388 20:28

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

One liner  

موضوع: یکشنبه 30 فروردین1388 20:24

I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

One liner 

موضوع: یکشنبه 30 فروردین1388 20:23

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

موضوع: یکشنبه 30 فروردین1388 20:20

Once We Played.

A beautiful poem about love

موضوع: پنجشنبه 27 فروردین1388 16:47

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him,
How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month,
Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cash And gave it to the young man and said, "Around here
I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months 'salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies for everybody in this company".
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man that
I just fired?" To which an amazing reply came of, "He was the pizza
delivery man, Sir...!!!"

موضوع: چهارشنبه 26 فروردین1388 13:32

                                      O Captain! My Captain!

والت وایتمن یکی از شاعران معروف است که من به شخصه از خوندن شعرهایش واقعا لذت میبرم.

یکی از شعرهایش "ناخدا" است  که با خوندنش احساس غریبی پیدا میکنم، احساس رسیدن به مقصد بدون رسیدن به هدف بدون همراه و دوست! یه مضمون خاصیه که در هیچ شعر دیگری نمیشود پیداش کرد . احساسی که نمیشه به زبان آورد شاید فقط همین آقای وایتمن اولین و اخرین نفری باشه که به این خوبی توانسته تصویرش کرده است.

این شعر را هنوز کامل ترجمه نکردم اگر شما هم دوست داشتید خوشحال میشم ترجمه هاتون رو بخونم حتی اگه بخشی از اون باشه

شعر را در ادامه مطلب اوردم. باید چند بار بخونیدتا  بتونید کاملادرکش کنید.

موضوع: جمعه 7 فروردین1388 11:25

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

funny mistakes  

موضوع: پنجشنبه 6 فروردین1388 13:46

funny mistakes

This is a collection of funny mistakes made by learners of English as a second language on their English classes.

1. Submitted by:Dirce
   A friend in a restaurant:
   
   Waiter, Could you bring me some kidnaps, please?
2. Submitted by: Simon D.
   From a student's essay:
   
   When I got home, I had a massage on the answering machine.
3. Sent in a message by a technical support specialist:
   
   Feel free to contact me if you cause any problems.
4. Said while talking about daily routines:
   
   In the morning, I get up at seven o'clock; clean my tooth;
   have breakfast; and go to work.
5. Said by a student talking about differences between men and women:
   
   I like the opposite to sex very much.
6. Written in a progress test by a sweet seventeen-year-old girl:
   
   I haven't had any male for more than a month.
7. The phrase was said by a student who had just been given another
   handout at the end of the lesson:
   
   Excuse me. Is this the last shit for today?
8. From a writing task in a progress test:
   
   I think that education in Ukraine is bed.
9. A quite common mistake:
   
   She has a long black hair.
   He has short fair hairs.
10. A typical mistake from a Headway Elementary Progress Test:
    
    They are like travelling by bus.

موضوع: شنبه 1 فروردین1388 18:24

Today and Again

You've left, and I'm not Ok.
Yet, I don't have an unshaved face
or holes in my shirt.
I don't pass the nights sleepless
Don't walk under the stars.

متن کامل شعر بسیار زیبای تو رفتی و حالم خوش نیست در ادامه مطلب به همراه ترجمه

لينك باكس پنگوين 

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